nazunyan427

Chapter 6

High Jump

Location: Outside Nazuna’s college

-A few minutes later-

Nazuna:

Huh. So it looks like that welcome back concert of mine is gonna be called off.

Tomoya:

Don’t just go “Huh.”! This is awful! Our own agency doesn’t care about us Ra*bits at all!

Nazuna:

There, there… Just calm down and listen to the sound of Nii-chan’s heartbeat.

Tomoya:

Mmph?! Mmph! Please stop hugging me so tightly in public! It’s embarrassing!

Nazuna:

Ahaha. I think bawling out loud like this in public is pretty embarrassing as it is. It’s kinda nice, in a way. Being full of emotion like this, I mean… I’m kinda jealous.

But you’re a man, Tomo-chin, so you’ve gotta pull yourself together.

I know it’s rich coming from someone who gets as flustered as me, but you’re Ra*bits’ Leader. You’ve gotta keep steady, hold your head high, and don’t forget to be confident, no matter what happens.

If the person on top starts to shake, everyone underneath will start feeling uneasy too.

Tomoya:

Uungh… But I’m not fit to be the Leader!

I was never suitable for this! Hajime and Mitsuru both outrank me as idols in every way...

Why did you pick me, Nii-chan?! I feel like I’m living in constant regret! Every day is a struggle!

Nazuna:

Right? … Ah, looks like you take after me when it comes to this sort of thing too.

I actually thought “Tomo-chin’s not like me; he’s different! He won’t keep everything all bottled up to himself—he’ll turn to the others around him for help!”.

I should’ve known better, but I was way too optimistic. After all, look who you had for your role model up until now!

Me, an idiot who’s constantly messing up, who can’t even open his mouth without stumbling over his words, who hesitates at the very first step...

And now I made you cry. My sweet, precious kids, who I should be protecting.

Some kind soul might try to insist “It’s not your fault!”, but I’ll always regret it.

Tomoya:

...

Nazuna:

So for once, I’m just gonna go for it.

Mashiro Tomoya!

Tomoya:

Huh? Uh—yes, sir! Why are you calling me by my full name all of a sudden?!

Nazuna:

Ah, I just... Uh, we tend to avoid serious conversations like this, so I wasn’t sure what to do.

But just avoiding everything that could hurt you, avoiding everything that’s painful and ugly—that’s not what love is.

That said, it’s not like I had the perfect role model to look up to… All I could do was copy how I’d seen him act.

Of course, I’m not trying to put the blame entirely on him, or say everything’s all his fault. It’s more like, I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the back by the old me.

Tomoya:

...?

Nazuna:

Tomo-chin. You—and Hajime-chin, and Mitsuru-chin—you’ve always been good kids.

You give everything 100% without me having to say a word; you study your craft and you lend a hand when it’s needed, and you’re such well-behaved kids that you wouldn’t dream of making any trouble for me. You never try to rebel, or answer me back.

But you don’t have to hold back so much.

I may not be your actual Mama or Papa, but I swore to myself that I would raise you with all of the love in my heart.

I mean it—I really wanted you guys to see me as your family. Your big brother; your Nii-chan.

And it’s because I’m your Nii-chan that I’ll take all of you, both the good and the bad, and lump ‘em all together and adore you from the bottom of my heart.

You guys are just such good kids; there’s no way you could ever lash out at me. So I’ll have to do it in your place.

I’ll try my best to put everything you’re feeling into words… Anzu, take this for a sec.

Yeah, I got a picture of my face up on my phone. There’s something I need to say to that guy. That Nito Nazuna guy.

What I’m about to do is about as far away from what we stand for as Ra*bits as possible, so it’s probably going to be a bit painful to watch. I’m really sorry about this.

Tomoya:

...?

Nazuna:

Oi, Nito Nazuna!

Quit dicking around! Look at you, having the time of your life off at college while dumping all the hard work on us!

Have you forgotten about us; about Ra*bits? Why would you betray all of the fans who support you so much?

You’re a cold, heartless, selfish bastard who’s completely oblivious to what all of us are going through!　

You’re a failure as both an idol and a person! You’re a piece of scum, the lowest of the low!

You oughta get down on your knees and grovel! Apologize to everyone in the world who’s doing their best to hang in there, ‘cause they sure as hell deserve it more than you do!

…

Tomoya:

… Um. N-None of us are thinking anything like that…!

Nazuna:

I know. But you have the right to.

The right to tell me to take responsibility and finish what I started, or don’t bother reaching out in the first place.

Tomoya:

No, no. The only thing we feel towards you is gratitude, Nii-chan.

You took us all under your wing even though you had absolutely no obligation of the sort, and all because Hibiki-senpai pushed us onto you.

Even though you would’ve been better off just ignoring us. We were so hopeless back then that we couldn’t tell left from right; all we did was find ourselves in pinch after pinch, and all of our own doing. But you still took us in...

You did everything you could for us, and more!

Even though back then you’d known sadness like we couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

The place that you’d called home had been destroyed purely out of malice, but you still forced yourself to smile, for your friends who couldn’t.

Even though you must have been hurting so much inside, you put everything aside to take our hands and show us the way forward.

You’re the good one, Nii-chan! You’re ten times as good as we could ever hope to be!

Nazuna:

Ahaha. Looks like we’re a good match for each other then.

I know, Tomo-chin. All of us, we’re all good kids. We don’t pick fights, or complain—we’re all just good kids at heart.

We can’t help it. That’s just who we are, and how we’ve chosen to live our lives.

We Ra*bits are herbivores; we don’t have the fangs to hunt and kill for our own gain.

That’s our lifestyle. There’s no way we could pull a 180° and kick up a big fuss like the way Crazy B did at ES this summer.

But it’s not as if their approach to life is the only right way to live. Good kids have their own strategies for survival too.

Just like the way ALKALOID talk a big game, and make good on their vow to “Protect everyone; no exceptions.”...

… We’ll stay true to ourselves and find a way to get what we want and make ourselves happy without having anyone get hurt in the process. We’re good kids like that, and that’s the way we choose to live.

Let’s all keep that in mind. There’s no need for all this crying or apologizing. None of us did anything wrong.

Tomoya:

...

Nazuna:

Looks like you think I’m “pretty”, or some big deal, or whatever.

And that’s why the title of “Leader” that I forced onto you must feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders.

Tomo-chin, all that is; is the title of the person who stands at the forefront of our party waving the flag to lead the way.

And waving the flag is good, right? Once people see that flag they can join our group and we can all walk along the same path together.

I know I’m one to talk, but please don’t bottle up everything to yourself. The four of us are tiny animals; we’re not meant to enter the fray by ourselves.

That’s why we form a group; so we can show each other moral support and have each other’s back. That’s how we’ll end up pulling through.

Together. This is a lifelong friendship we have here. And we’ll keep smiling and going about our way as peacefully as we can.

And if anyone gets in the way, or tries to disrupt our family or tell you otherwise—you can bet that your Nii-chan will kick their ass for ya.

Tomoya:

...

Nazuna:

The “tomo” kanji you write your name with—Mashiro Tomoya—is the same as the “tomo” kanji in “tomodachi”—in friendship. There’s no “Nii” for “Nii-chan” in your name, so I’m not expecting you to try to become Nii-chan yourself.

No, I don’t want you to try to be everyone’s dependable big brother. I just want you to be there for everyone as a friend.

Tomoya:

…